I would like to hear at some time of the path Father has led you down. I am sure that there have been many times when the path seemed very lonely and the pain and the fears were intense with your soul feeling like it was overwhelmed. David spoke of such times himself, and I know that Joseph also had his soul laid in irons as the word of Yahweh tested him. It seems that He leads us down some most difficult roads, but I know that we can share Paul's proclamation that these momentary, light afflictions are not worthy to be compared with the glory to be revealed in us.
Father will give us our Manassehs, for He will cause us to forget all of our troubles.
May you and your household be blessed, and may peace attend you all your days,
Sent April 22, 2001
You have asked a very provocative question concerning the way the Father has led me, one which in the end looks to a "Manasseh" coming forth to make everything good in time. I am not at the Manasseh stage right now, so my sorrows are quite evident to me. In fact (and as you will find, I am a most frank and open individual), only recently in a great time of pain and with Satan performing a great job in his role as a Rabshakeh (Isaiah 36 and 37), I came under such pain and heavy sorrow that I looked back over my life and what I was under at that moment, and even regretted that I had served Him. Do I need a Manasseh? Very much so, even as we all do (often not even knowing the extent of our need). Having read some of your writings, I do not think this frank confession will be too much for you to hear.
What has my life been like? I have said for the last few years - "I have one gift from God, and unfortunately He lets me use it." That one gift He has given me is the gift of endurance! And I have had to use it!
My walk with Him began in 1971, at which time He called me to start a Christian coffee house. (This was during the Jesus Movement.) My wife objected to the idea of raising children in the upstairs of some building with a coffee house below. With that and my own idea that I needed security in my life, I told Yahweh "No," and went off to get a college degree. I did this when my pastor told me that he thought that if I was called to start a coffee house, then I should run it. I said "No," and fasted for seven days and prayed for someone else to come and take this calling. Yahweh sent another Gary to do the work that this Gary was called to do. Meanwhile, I went back to college to get my security.
Seven years later, Yahweh gave me a dream (which I will not explain to you) that clearly showed me that when I told Yahweh "No" regarding the coffee house, He had to remove me from the place of my planting, and take me somewhere else. This choice to not trust in Yahweh cost me seven years of my life, and in the eighth year He led me into the ministry walk I was supposed to follow from the beginning.
At the completion of those six years, I was reading a biography about Demos Shakarian, founder of Full Gospel Business Men's Fellowship, and in the closing paragraphs there was the mention of a man who was in the pastorate. That word exploded inside me, and after finishing reading the remaining chapters (as I said, I have endurance and had to finish what I had begun before dealing with the explosion that had just gone off), I knelt down before Yahweh and began to weep. For the first time I knew I was called into the pastorate. Yahweh then spoke three words to me - "Move to Dallas." To make a long story short, after one year of submitting to the elders of the church where I served as the education director, I then moved to Dallas. (So much could be shared here.)
We went to Dallas for the purpose of starting a home fellowship that would continue in homes as its foundational pattern. But one day as I was sitting at the kitchen bar, the Spirit of Yahweh spoke to me - "I am going to teach you the death principle." I thought this meant I was going to have to go back to work, and I did have to; but more so, it meant the death of the little home fellowship which had formed. I died to the pastorate that I had been called to, which I had never sought, and did not even want in the beginning. Once I gave myself to it, then Yahweh took it from me.
Prior to this, for six and a half years I had sat behind a desk in a white-collar job. I worked with corporate people and city officials. I had authority, and on my right hand was my big college ring. But the work Yahweh now led me into was not anywhere like that. In fact, if someone who had known me before had seen me, I would have been embarrassed. I was cleaning carpets in apartments; and because of the danger associated with the heavy equipment, the big college ring had to come off and go into a drawer (which was later stolen by someone who broke into our house and took the ring and some change). Instead of my white-collar job, I was now performing the sweaty task of blue-collar work.
I will keep this short, but one day while cleaning the carpet in an apartment in a rough part of Dallas, I looked out the window and saw an old man wearing a long trench coat, one who was clearly of the street person type. He sat down on the front steps of the apartments where I was working, and took out a bottle of clear liquid and began to sniff it. My heart broke for that man, to the extent that I knelt down on that dirty carpet and spoke to Yahweh - "Either show me a way how to help people like this old man, or take this unbearable pain from my heart, or I will die!" He then spoke to me and showed me that He had already provided a way, and that was for people to give the corners of their fields for the needy. I had to go home and get my Bible to even know what He was talking about.
From there, I began a ministry based upon that principle of giving and for twelve years served in the care of the needy. While our purpose was to provide a home for the needy, which we did finally obtain, most of those years were spent helping others to succeed in their works with the needy. (Yahweh told me one day that He would lift me up as I sought to lift up others higher than myself.) We started various works ourselves, including a Cars for Christ program that went on its own and has given away hundreds of cars to the needy, operated two large thrift stores, started and operated a wooden pallet business to assist in a drug and alcohol rehab program, as well as helped feed the homeless on the streets and help begin a mission in downtown Dallas. There were many other activities, including a daily radio program called "The Corners Of Your Field," which taught on the care of the needy and aired for twelve years, as well as publishing a book titled - Does The Tithe Always Go To The Storehouse? This book addressed the issue of the corners of the field, as well as the important fact that every third year the entire tithe went to the care of the poor and the local Levite.
As I said, during all of this time we were trying to get a facility for the poor. We saved for two years to buy some land, but the owner changed his mind when we had the money. We sought to get some apartments from the government at the time of the S & L failures, but that failed too. Just after that great and painful disappointment, a man contacted me and offered a large incomplete structure on a 100 acre ranch. We would not own the facility, but could use it. I did not want this at first, but Yahweh made it very clear to me that this was what I was supposed to do; so we pursued it.
With the help of many volunteers, we took that 5,600 square foot shell and made it into a most beautiful twelve bedroom six bath home for the care of women and children. You cannot imagine how nice this home was, as Yahweh clearly blessed this project every step of the way in everything!
After twelve years of work, and seeking to lift up others higher than myself, we finally had our long sought home for the care of the needy. (This was also preceded by seven years of intercession in which I was called to not celebrate, including not attending any family holidays or any kind of special event. You cannot begin to imagine what kind of sacrifice this brings on a family!) This time we obeyed when Yahweh called us to live in the home and run it, whereas in 1971 we turned away from such exposure and vulnerability. We closed down all other activities in the ministry (except radio) and concentrated on this one thing.
After the home was finished, our first family came to live with us. It was a mother with five little girls. But she was to be the only ones who would do so; for in June, 1994, the Spirit of Yahweh came upon me for a week and a half and began showing me about the things I now teach. It was, as I characterized at the time, a complete earthquake in my beliefs! I found that I could ask Yahshua anything, and He would answer me. Why do men have short hair and women have long? Why did they not break Your bones? Why did they pierce Your side? What is to be the covering of Your bride? All of these things and many more Yahweh would answer for me. I often said that Yahweh was blowing the top of my head off, as you might suspect from reading these writings.
Then the inevitable came! We had started that home for women and children; but now there was an entirely new direction for my life. For twelve years I had taught others to give the corners of their fields to the needy; now I was to teach others to become poor in order to be the corners of His field - the second Remnant. It was not long when the great excitement I felt for these new, wonderful, and hope filled truths that tasted oh so very sweet to my mouth, became oh so bitter to my stomach! The man who owned the ranch did not share my newfound purpose in life, and upon gathering a tribunal of pastors to judge me, asked me to leave the ranch! Oh so bitter was the little book!
For the next few weeks I sought Yahweh in what to do. I prostrated myself before Him and sought Him diligently. How can a man leave when he does not know where to go? Then in the early morning of my birthday, August 7, Yahweh told me to move to Washington and to give everything in the ministry to the man who was casting me out, the owner of the ranch. He told me to become a Mephibosheth according to the example of 2 Samuel 19:24-30; so I gave everything to the land owner - the beautiful home we had built with much of our own money, resources, and two years of labor; a new fifteen passenger van; incredible furniture; a baby grand piano; all the office and radio production equipment; everything! Everything I had labored for over twelve years was gone in one moment! But I did this to gain something far greater - the position of being in Yahweh's second Remnant!
After three days of driving, having not a single key in my pocket that was to something that I owned, on September 1, 1994, our family entered into the state of Washington to pursue the establishment of the second Remnant. Only one week before we left did Yahweh open a door for us to stay in someone's home. We were there for seven and a half months, when on Good Friday, 1995, we moved into a home where we have lived for six years.
I cannot go into all that has happened since September 1, 1994, but we have learned much, and it has cost us MUCH! One woman gave me the scripture during that time - "Because in much wisdom there is much grief, and increasing knowledge results in increasing pain" (Ecclesiastes 1:18). I know this so very well! For those six years my efforts to get people to believe the Remnant truth were equivalent to walking around Jericho six times in silence - no one heard, no one believed. Every hope I had of Yahweh beginning what I saw had to happen, ended in pain as an intercessoral effort. His message to me during all of this was the painful instruction - Wait! So much could be said here about what took place in those years! Like grain maturing in the ear, during those six years His word concerning the kingdom of God matured in me - the barley had to be abib!
Then at the time of Passover in May, 2000, with the posting of The Signs That Cause Belief, surprisingly, several people suddenly believed (which is a story all in itself)! Suddenly a little rib of a bride was taken out of the sleeping body of Christ, and it has remained and grown stronger. The writing of this response to you marks the first anniversary of that beginning, and for some reason it seems fitting to reminisce about all those years bringing me to this time. There has been a lot of pain and loss over these years, leading up to a moment of utter weakness where even now I regretted His choosing me. But in all of this, He still knows what is best, and we do have the promise that all things work together for the good.
Yes Joseph, I look forward to my "Manasseh" in life. I can recall a time a few years ago in which I walked around the block one night where I lived in the Dallas area, and at one point under a street light, Yahweh asked me if I was willing to be poured out and pay the price in order that others might receive the reward without paying the price. I had to carefully consider that question, for I believed that suffering was essential for reward, and why shouldn't others pay the price too. But I consented that I would do this, and knelt there under that light and committed to paying the price for the sake of others. I did not know the price would be so high, and I am glad (though also troubled) that the fourth dimension of time creates a new day each day. I embrace today, even as I embrace Him, and with hope look toward the future.
Many years ago, the Spirit of Yahweh asked me to pray for an example in the flesh that I could see and follow his example. I prayed this and thought that the answer would be the pastor who I had mentioned at the first of this e-mail. But no, he was not to be the one (for which I was later glad, as he fell greatly in my eyes and in the eyes of others). No, His example for me was a man whom I had read of, and have reread that account several times since then. Clearly the Spirit told me that my example in the flesh was a man named Rees Howells, whose testimony is recorded in a book titled Rees Howells, Intercessor.
I have learned that intercession is the whole of what Yahweh is performing among man. When it is written that all creation groans and travails for the revelation of the sons of God, this means that all men are intercessors in one way or another. Some are intercessors by knowledge - they are called to specific intercessions as Rees lived out. All other men are in what I call passive intercession. Yahweh is orchestrating their everyday lives in such a way as to intercede for the kingdom of God and the revelation of its sons - first the two-part Remnant, followed by the body of Christ.
I look to Yahweh to effect all of those intercessions - the ones performed in knowledge, the ones performed in partial understanding, and even the ones performed in a completely passive state divinely orchestrated by Yahweh.
This is the path Yahweh has led this man. For years I prayed - "Oh Lord, let me see things the way You see them, let me hear things the way You hear them, and let me feel things the way You feel them." With great pain and cost, I think He is answering that prayer; and in the end, the reward will be worth it all, when Manasseh is brought forth! And he will be!
Joseph, this is only an overview of my life. I cannot begin to tell you all the times Yahweh has dealt with me about issues, about intercessions (fasting deserts, fasting TV, a Nazirite vow, and on), about miracles, about visions and dreams, about testings for earthly provisions, about learning His ways, about obedience when the threat of loss has been so very great, about a commitment to live by convictions, about defeating Satan and his STRONG temptations that come to literally destroy us, about trusting Him when things do not happen or work out the way we think they should or will. Yes, there are many things I cannot share here, and even in them all, I still wake up each morning to face only a man. I lament that I will do this until He changes this mortal into the immortal, which I clearly see is the hope of the second Remnant work of ascending alive. Until we defeat Satan by conquering death, we have the hope of defeating him by conquering his lies.
But concerning a man named Gary Naler, Martin Luther said it best when asked if he feared the Pope (whom he would soon stand before) and thus responded - "The only Pope I fear is the great Pope self." While I am glad for all the ways in which Yahweh has dealt with me, for all the things He has done, as a man I still all the more must trust in Him and entrust all to Him (especially now)! This fourth dimension of time is still creating new days; and as long as I face each day, I have the potential of creating a new me for that day, and in that I trust my faithful Creator - "Therefore, let those also who suffer according to the will of God entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right" (1 Peter 4:19).
May Yahweh use us to His glory - vessels to hopeful honorable use.
Your brother and servant,